Sunday, August 24, 2008


“The question “Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self- sabotage?” is on you must consistently ask yourself if you are committed to having all that you want and all that you deserve. When you love yourself you fell worthy and deserving of claiming the gifts of this world. Self- love gives you peace of mind and balance. Self-love gives you self –respect and the ability to respect others. It gives you the confidence to stand up and ask for what you want. Self-love is the main ingredient in a successful, fulfilled life.

I believe that loving who we are is one of the most difficult yet vitally important tasks that each of us is given in this lifetime. Loving ourselves means loving ALL of who we are- the brilliant and beauty, the flawed and foolish, the selfless and self-absorbed, the courageous and fearful. It means loving, honoring, and accepting the totality of our humanity. It means cherishing ourselves and appreciating our individuality and our uniqueness. When we choose self – love, we claim our greatness.

When we love ourselves fully and freely, something magical happens. We teach others and fully and freely, something magical happens. We teach others, without using words, how to love themselves. We become models of self-love—for our children, our family, and our friends. We teach them not only that self-love is good choice to make but that it is really the only choice.

What does it mean to choose self-love? It means making choices that you feel good about on a day-to-day basis and being able to look yourself in the eye and know that you did what was best for yourself. It means being proud of your choices and your actions. Loving yourself means making choices that allow you to care for the important person that you are.

Each of us is given only one temple to be responsible for, and we are living in it. So it is essential to think of yourself- your body, your mind, and your spirit- as your very sacred temple, to honor and care for.

Choices are really choices that will lead you to your desired destination.

When we engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, we are choosing from our lowest selves rather than our highest. We allow unhealthy underlying commitments to direct us away from our desired destination. Consequently, we go through our days in a state of distress and unease. When we are self-sabotaging, when we deny ourselves our own love, we are scared to death of what other people think of us. We become masters of disguise, always trying to conceal the things we hate about ourselves.
Remember, each choice we make moves us wither towards our goals or away from them. We can rest assured that if we are not moving in the direction of what we say we want, we are sabotaging ourselves somewhere. Often it is difficult for us to see or admit to self-sabotaging behaviors because they are painful to look at, and it’s even more painful to take responsibility for them. W e come up with elaborate ways to avoid confronting our self –destruction. We blame our parents, our spouses, our circumstances, our governments, or the universe for not supplying us with all the goodies we deserve. We don’t stop to examine the choices and behaviors we make that have contributed to our situation and have led us astray.

What’s important to know is that every time we act in a way that is against our stated desires, we break out in quilt, shame, or disappointment in ourselves. And naturally we keep people at a distance so they won’t see what we so painfully feel.

Self-sabotage comes in many forms. Every time we allow a momentary distraction to pull us away from our dreams, every time we compare ourselves with another and come up short, and every time we look at our lives and think, “This isn’t it.” We have committed an act of self-sabotage. Every time we go unconscious and listen to our negative inner dialogue sing old song for the thousandth time, and every time we beat ourselves up for not being perfect, we are choosing self-sabotage over self-love.

We self-sabotage by paying reverence to our “should”s instead of honoring the wishes of our hearts.

Self-love does not come from writing a book, or from making a million dollars, or from buying a new house. Self-esteem comes from the little loving choices we make every day-the choices we make that tell us, “You are important. You are a good person. You deserve to take care of yourself. You matter.”

I believe with all my heart that his is the most difficult task most of us have before us. When we truly are in the divine presence of our own humanity, we naturally make choices that reflect love of our deepest selves and give ourselves the gifts we so fully deserve.

SO, if you don’t like the way you feel about yourself, you have the power to change it.
What if attaining happiness and fulfillment was as simple as going to bed at night after making a list of all the things you did that day that fed your self-esteem and waking up the next morning asking yourself, “How am I going to love and honor myself today?” what if the message of all the ancient gurus, the spiritual teachings, the self-help books, and all the transformational techniques we’ve created came down to teaching us how to give ourselves the love we try to get from others?
What if all there is to do is to love ourselves completely and make new choices today, choice that are an expression of self-love? Before making a choice, ask yourself, “Would someone who loves themselves make this choice? Is this action an expression of someone who honors and cherishes themselves? Both of these questions will bring you back to the simple question “Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?”
Brilliantly written by; Debbie Ford

Live Passionately

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